I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
