how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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