i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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