Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
