You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
