I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
