I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
