It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How external is "for external use only"?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
