I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
