My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
i now understand why vodka
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
