How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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