Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
