i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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