is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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