sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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