you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
this hospital has no fireball
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
