why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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