I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
