Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
