That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
