You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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