Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
