Your face is a jimmy john
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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