It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
