Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
