He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
