I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize