Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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