Non-Jews are for practice
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
