I love black thongs
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
