Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
