After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize