its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
