you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
