I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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