if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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