At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
