Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
