Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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