he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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