What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
