What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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