We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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