You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
