its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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