I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
