Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize