You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
