we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
