I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
