Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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