Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
