forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
