It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
