Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
