..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
