there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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