He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
