It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
