How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
