He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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