hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
