My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
...so i touched it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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